what beast would turn its life into words?

dear friends, it's that time again! that time i start thinking vaguely about how i miss livejournal/dreamwidth, but then rapidly become stupidly overwhelmed with guilt because it's been so long since i've shown my face in either realm. hallo, internet. does anyone use this things anymore?

hallo, livejournal, and merry festivus!

right, so. i changed scrapofpaper's layout, and i didn't fuck it up too badly, only the background seems to stop working about midway down the page. because i am css-illiterate, i'm clueless as to how to fix it. anyone wanna help me out? (here is where i got the layout from, if it helps.)

eta: I ALSO FINALLY FUCKING UPDATED MY OWN LJ'S LAYOUT! LOOK LOOK LOOK IT HAS A LINE FROM ELIOT'S FOUR QUARTETS AUGH ISN'T IT AWESOME I LOVE EVERYTHING

eta2: so apparently scrapofpaper's layout works just fine in chrome, but malfunctions in firefox. now i am even more confused. er. halp?

eta3: now i'm just getting obnoxious, but i just noticed that my journal's layout is green and scrapofpaper's layout is red! D'AWWWWWW. IT'S CHRISTMAS IN LJLAND!

i keep trying to return to lj, but lj persists in making this difficult. am i the only one who keeps being foiled by pages refusing to load halfway through? or am i just losing it? WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LIVEJOURNAL D:

GOOD EVENING, LIVEJOURNAL NATION. i come to you on a noble mission to uncover the contents of your pants, which really isn't half as sketchy as it sounds. you see, the girlfriend and i found ourselves in a heated debate this evening, the subject of which, once again, is (unfortunately) not half as lascivious as it sounds. i threatened to consult livejournal because that is what i do when i need to be proven right, so here i am AND I COME BEARING A POLL. DON'T LET ME DOWN, LIVEJOURNAL! THE FATE OF MY RELATIONSHIP RESTS ON YOUR COLLECTIVE SHOULDERS.

[Poll #1744174]

hello, f-list. i love you more than google, so i'm coming to you instead. (read: tried google, wasn't helpful, now i'm subjecting you all to sloppy seconds.)

does anyone know if there's a way to quickly install a moodtheme, without having to copy and paste every individual url of every image? i remember reading instructions for it years ago (although i don't like that expression because it makes me sound old), but i can't find anything on it now. does this method even exist anymore?

i have tickets. to see the national. in september. brain short-circuiting from excitement. facebook status-esque, truncated sentences have ensued. somebody send back-up. AUGH *explodes*

oh yeah, and one more thing: dear f-list? can i entrust you to showcase my incoherency to the world? hook me up with some disconcertingly logical raving lunatics. or something. go! enjoy the delusion of control of my life, when in fact you serve only MY ends. that's right, bitches. world domination happens one wildly incoherent blog post at a time. \o/

OMG BE BFF WITH

I...just felt compelled to add myself as a livejournal friend, for reasons I am finding difficult to articulate. Uhm. Some possible explanations I am entertaining in the face of a TOTAL VOID OF LOGIC:

1. This course of action clearly promotes the illusion of self-confidence. I am even considering someday finding it a place on a shiny, shiny college resume.

2. OR MAYBE it is of a profane nature and doesn't belong in such an overwhelmingly scrupulous environment: maybe I have actually just answered the eternal question would I do me? (I WOULD, AND I DO, IN CASE YOU MISSED THAT.)

2. OR MAYBE it is actually a masochistic Cave of Solitude. HOW WILL I EVER FRIEND ME BACK? WHAT IF I DRIVE ME TO FLOUNCIFICATION? I DON'T THINK I AM BUILT TO SURVIVE THIS KINDA ANGST. D: D: D:

3. ...and now I'm too busy weeping piteously to think of any more reasons. *BASKS IN LONELY LIVEJOURNAL DESPERADO-DOM* (I am totally badass enough to be a desperado okay. I am at least an outlaw in the face of LOGIC, and no one can deny that.)

[Poll #1397035]

...my brain, sometimes ze is inane as all hell. And I mean the doctor's-waiting-room level of hell reserved for procrastinators, I guess, because otherwise the phrase "inane as all hell" doesn't actually make any SENSE, does it. Because fire and brimstone are much more terrifying and smelly than they are inane. In other, much more pressing news, tea is delicious. Do you know who is even more delicious than tea? BETH MOTHERFUCKING DITTO, THAT'S WHO. THE GOSSIP HAS A NEW SINGLE OUT, YOU GUYS \o/ \o/ \o/. If you are unacquainted with Beth Ditto, she is all you ever need to know about awesomeness, pretty much. If you need any convincing, I would like to introduce you to ishyface's kick-ass picspam from forevers ago. I would also like to advertise the fact that an earbud has just found its way nearly up my left nostril, for reasons I am not sure enough of to report (read: I AM SO UNCOORDINATED THAT SOMETIMES THINGS WOT DON'T BELONG IN IMPOSSIBLE ORIFICES END UP THERE. that sounds horrifically double entendre-y, doesn't it ;__;). LET IT BE KNOWN THAT EVEN MY BOOGERS ARE RIOT GRRRLS. Also, this entry lacks any cohesive narrative. In case you hadn't noticed already. BRAIN, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MANAGE TO SIT STILL FOR AWHILE? I WOULD BE VERY APPRECIATIVE, JUST SAYIN.

(ALSO, IT IS FRIDAY. I NO DO THE THINKY TOO WELL TONIGHT, BUT HEY! I LIKE THIS. DOUBLEPLUSGOOOOOD.)

Do you know what game I think we should play? The Let's Make Life Decisions for Our Flist Game! That is indisputably one of the most fabulous things you can do with a livejournal. You see, kids, there's this summer program type of shindig (and I say "shindig" because it promises to be full of bacchanalian things. at least, the course selection looks. amazing. better than any amount of bacchanalian shenanigans you can think of, all right). Only after all the day's shenanigans have been sufficiently shenanigated, there's the option of either taking an afternoon SAT review course or mini-courses. THE MINI-COURSES, THEY LOOK LIKE JOLLY GOOD FUN. While they're evidently subject to change, some of the options from last year comprise of shit like the Evolution of Punk Rock, Running of a Coffee Shop, Cartoon + Satire, and THESE ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME WHAT ARE YOU DOING EVEN CONSIDERING PRACTICALITY (presumably taught by this guy). HOWEVER, that whole college thing I have to get my ass into? Yeah, my test-taking skills are...apocalyptically awful, at best. Nearly as bad as my decision-making skills. IPSO ERGO: YOU DECIDE! Shall I gain insight into doing something wot would spare me from being confined to city-street cardboard boxes forever more, or shall I be a hobo with an encyclopedic knowledge of punk rock? (because obviously this one decision will determine THE ENTIRE COURSE OF MY LIFE. MY FATE RESTS IN YOUR CAPABLE HANDS, FLIST. DON'T LET ME DOWN.)

[Poll #1389883]

EDIT: ALSO I HAVE BEEN SHIT AT FLISTING AGAIN LATELY, I KNOW. HI, EVERYBODY! QUE PASA?

OKAY SO. I cannot find any way of changing the timezone on my lj, what the festering hell. Um, can anybody supply me with a link because I am either selectively blind or tragically inept. THANK YOU.

Oh yeah and have another MEEEEEME:

A quiet love meme.

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind you how great you are.

Comments are screened so only I will know if nobody feels like catering to my demands for coddling.

SHOW ME YOUR TITS Say nice things about me because I am squishy and cuddly? :D?

PERHAPS someday in the future I shall contribute meaningfully to your flist with a narrative that is at once resonant and trenchant! TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.

STOP! IT'S MEME TIME!

It's inevitable that as we read each other's journals we create mental pictures of each other. Post this on your own journal to find out who your friends see when they read about your life.

Two Rules:
1) The person must be in the movies or on TV (but doesn't have to be an actor/actress). The person can be specific to a role or character or just the person.
2) Post a picture.

GO TEAM!