replace it with a UV light so I can be the beacon of hope that you've always expected

[two_grey_rooms]

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TELL YOU....

I figure being perpetually caught up on my flist + occasionally piping in with posts ruminating on Marc Chagall's contribution to the zombie apocalypse TOTALLY means it's time for the anon memes to start kicking around this journal. Trufax, I have been admiring them from afar all throughout my LJ furlough. I'm not so sure what exactly is the allure of eye-burning html marshaling in comments promising to tell me I've an alternate personality moonlighting as a furry, BUT I'M ROLLING WITH IT, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Other things I love: 1) Jeanette Winterson rendered sketchy by fangirling Alison Bechdel, 2) MY RIDICULOUS FUCKING HETEROSEXIST PURITANICAL ADJECTIVE-ABUSE-INDUCING FORMAL "SEX EDUCATION" FINALLY FUCKING ENDING THIS WEEK, 3) dancing around my living room to Los Campesinos! in very little clothing, and 3) LONG CAT IS LOOOOOOOONG. Oh my god the internet is eating my brain.

Hi, flist! How are you all?

Comments

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

I was really shocked and appalled that the faq didn't allude to flannel even ONCE. WHAT KIND OF RETARDED SEX ED IS THIS WITHOUT LESBIANS IN FLANNEL? I IMPLORE YOU.

...I own a flannel shirt. IT'S REALLY COMFORTABLE OKAY?!

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

What IS flannel?

I'm going to assume that I do already know this, but I only ever hear Americans saying "flannel" as a material. WHAT.

heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

For this comment I love you forever, solely because if you saw me irl you'd be the only one of my friends (ONLINE FRIENDS TOTALLY COUNT ALL RIGHT? I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR YEARS, I knew you before I really knew you--hp boards, anyone? SURELY YOU GET SOME CRED FOR THAT) NOT to snark about my unfortunate sartorial choices. LET'S ELOPE!

In a tragic paradox, however, I feel it is my god-given duty as a lesbian to enlighten you in your woeful ignorance, giving you due permission to mock me forever more. Behold flannel in its natural habitat, stereotypically endemic to lumberjacks and lesbians.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

(Seriously, we have known each other for years. I joined HP when I was 12. THAT'S SIX YEARS, MAN! NEARLY SEVEN.)

Wait, I don't get it. Is flannel the material, or the overall .. shirt? Because I have one of those. I think it's just cotton though.

In all honesty, checked shirts are massive over here right now. So it maybe depends on how said clothing is worn. I, for one, wouldn't know if I saw a flannel-clad lesbian.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

...THAT SHIT IS BANANAS (I still have no idea what this means). Wait, SERIOUSLY?! That is...inconceivable. Hang on, we couldn't've really known each other that long, could we? I mean, like, if YOU were twelve, I was ten, which was when I juuust joined the boards, and I don't think I started spamming the millionaires immediately. BUT STILL. We've known each other too long. We need to start bickering like an old married couple, I think. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODLE! DID YOU FEED MY FLANNEL SHIRT TO THE DOG AGAIN, YOU CRAZY FUCKING OLD BIRD.

Flannel is the material, but only in shirt form is it stereotypical lesbian ware.

DAMN YOU, LIMEYS, AND YOUR WEIRD CULTURE. Y'ALL ARE FREAKS.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

(It doesn't mean anything. It is pure gold in the form of language.)

Yes. It really has been that long. Amazingly. Maybe like, a year out. But still. SEVEN YEARS.

QUIET YOU WRETCHED FLANNEL WEARING COW. THE DOG HAS NO TEETH. IT CAN'T EAT CLOTHING. YOU MUST HAVE USED IT TO WASH THE FISH AGAIN.

Is it like, soft? Kind of like, tiny bit furry?

LESBIANS WEAR ANYTHING THEY DAMN WELL PLEASE. THEY JUST GIVE OFF AN AURA OF LESBIANISM. LIKE STUDENTS.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

If you ask the song I'm listening to right now, actually, "gold/is another word for culture/leads to fattening/of the vultures." If Gwen Stefani is gold--HOLY SHIT KYP MALONE WANTS TO EAT GWEN STEFANI. FURTHER EVIDENCE OFF THE SAME ALBUM: "I hunger for like a cannibal/not gonna let you run." OH MY FUCKING GOD. Or maybe he just wants to asphyxiate her with his formidable beard. I AM UNCOVERING A CONSPIRACY HERE OKAY~~

Did you just ask me if flannel was furry? MAYBE IF YO' DOG SHED ON IT.

MY AURA OF LESBIANISM IS WEAK, MAN. Seriously. Someone thought I was straight recently, and I found it highly distressing.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

I KNEW IT. Not that I've heard this song, or of any of the aforementioned. I'm kidding! The above made no sense, so I retaliated with an equally incoherent response.

I CAN'T EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. SOFT COTTON? IDK.

Seriously man, you're failing at lesbian. As is one of my very good friends. She's kissed 3+ boys since moving to university. BAD LESBIAN FORM.

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahaha sometimes I forget how to speak the English language. This usually results from music in my ears drowning everything else out, including, you know, logic and syntax and otherwise rational human functions.

I think it's usually made from cotton, so that would be a yes.

OMG WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I GET A BUZZ CUT? SHOULD I LISTEN TO MORE K.D. LANG? SHOULD I BLAME THE PATRIARCHY THE NEXT TIME MY LOCKER'S JAMMED??

Re: heeere comes the laggardly lesbian!

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

ALL OF THE ABOVE. AND YOU HAVE TO WEAR DOC MARTENS. TRUFAX.