two_grey_rooms: (in this illusionary place)
[personal profile] two_grey_rooms
So, today I was aiming to make a post about America's First President To Have Paraphrased Spider-Man And What He Means To Me, but I opted instead to go up to my room, to very quickly drop off my coat, and then somehow I found myself waking up twenty years later in the middle of the Catskill mountains with a crazy fuckin' beard and a revolution I knew nothing about underway in my motherland, and my wife is dead, and MY LIFE WAS LIKE TOTALLY OVER--

And then I decided to stop being Rip Van Winkle and study for my math test like the diligent little student I am. Even though it was almost six-o-fucking-clock, WHAT.

Which is what I did all day night, sans eat dinner, which is why I was going to go back to sleep without so much as a flist comment today, but my dad just came home from his Very Important Temple Gathering. Evidently, the featured film of his Very Important Moth-Ball-Scented, Sweater-Vest-Clad Temple Gathering Film Night was not about "uhhh some old Jewish person!" ("...could you be a little more specific than that, Dad?" "Uhhh I think, something about, uh, art?") as was promised over the phone, but was about MARC FUCKING CHAGALL whom I love madly (who is, admittedly, some old--if by "old" you mean "dead"--Jewish person with something to do with art, but so is my grandma and her collection of horrifying malformed beaded animals).

My precious father, who is officially the preciousest dad in all the land, tried to make it up to me by offering to stalk Marc Chagall's granddaughter in her place of employ. I wish I knew what to make of this.

eta: BECAUSE MY DAD'S BRAIN, LET ME SHOW IT TO YOU. It only gets crackier.

DAD: ALSO MARC CHAGALL SPOKE TO US AND HE WAS REALLY NICE!
ME: Dad, Marc Chagall is dead oh my god what sect of Judaism did you say your temple was again?
DAD: HA HA HA.
ME: No, but seriously, he's dead. You, you know this, right?
DAD: YES!
ME: ...?!?
DAD: I MEANT. HE SPOKE. IN THE MOVIE. OH OH IT'S STILL PLAYING! YOU COULD SEE IT WITH ME! MICHELLE MICHELLE COME BE JEWISH WITH ME!!!

Next week, you guys, I am going to join my father in COMMUNING WITH THE DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU, MR. OBAMA. CAN YOU ZOMBIFY MARC CHAGALL? I THINK NOT!

Date: 2009-01-22 04:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cool-rain-kiss.livejournal.com
MR. HORNY'S DAD FOR NEXT PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!

I have missed your entries. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Date: 2009-01-23 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
AHAHAHAHAHAH NO. FREEDOM OF RELIGION WOULD BE THE FIRST TO BE ABOLISHED, LEMME TELL YA.

I HAVE MISSED YOUR OVERZEALOUS SMILEY FACES WITH TEN FRILLION CHINS!!!!!!!

Date: 2009-01-23 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cool-rain-kiss.livejournal.com
YOU LOVE ME FOR MY FAT WOBBLES :(


WOBBLE WOBBLE :(((

Date: 2009-01-24 05:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
Actually, I redact that statement. Because ten frillion chins MAKES NO SENSE. On second thought there are no chins, which is infinitely more frightening, and what I am actually looking at is ten frillion GRINS which makes me think you, like, ATE The Joker and regurgitated him, like, ten frillion times. Either that or it sort of reminds me of a Sarah Slean song (which generally doesn't produce an image quite so nauseating--thanks for that association!).
Edited Date: 2009-01-24 05:05 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-22 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lawlzify.livejournal.com
I can't count the number of ways I love you.

Next week, you guys, I am going to join my father in COMMUNING WITH THE DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? I'M LOOKIN' AT YOU, MR. OBAMA. CAN YOU ZOMBIFY MARC CHAGALL? I THINK NOT!

I loled.

Your dad is like the best ever. Can I borrow him to be my dad for a week pls?

Date: 2009-01-23 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
PREFERABLY BECAUSE THEY ARE INAPPROPRIATE FOR THE PRYING PUBLIC EYE? *waggles eyebrows*

YES, you can absolutely HAVE HIM. I fear I glorify my family on the internet. Somehow I render fire-breathing monsters as adorable salamanders who want to play with you. Perhaps this is an artistic talent. (He's less cuddly when it seems he is willing to sell his spleen and your pancreas to get you to go to temple.)

Date: 2009-01-22 05:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] summerkins.livejournal.com
XD XD XD XD

I love you. ...No, I lie. I love your Dad.

Date: 2009-01-23 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
MY DAD DOES NOT LOVE YOU. YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME, KIDDO.

Date: 2009-01-23 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] summerkins.livejournal.com
WELL FUCK. I GUESS I'M STUCK WITH THE CRAPPIER VERSION OF AWESOME.

I'm lying again you're not crappy, i love you!

Date: 2009-01-22 09:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rain-explodes.livejournal.com
I would PAY to see Obama reinvent the dead. Would you prefer brainless, brain-seeking or just regular dead-guy-walking?
Personally, I think the brain-seeking would be higher up on th ehilarity scale of your dad still managing to get Marc Chagall to speak to him.

WHAT WHAT. SPIDERMAN.. Admittedly, I got bored after ten minutes of watching the interra-..inogu-.. MAKING OBAMA PRESIDENT. So I missed the paraphrasing. :(


POST MORE. OTHERWISE I WILL GET OBAMA TO ZOMBIFY YOU ANYWAY.

Date: 2009-01-23 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
Oh ho, but Obama already IS reinventing the dead! It was just heralded on the news that people in DC are all banding together to be--BREAKING NEWS OVER HERE--nice to each other. First of all, what the FUCK, dreariest of slow news days? But secondly, and much more prominently, if that's not reinventing the dead, I don't know what is :D :D

(Brain-seeking is my obvious preference, doll.)

(ON THE MATTER OF BRAIN-SEEKING: THIS SHIRT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY. HOLY FUCK I LOVE ME SOME "SOFTER WORLD." ALSO ZOMBIES. I. FUCKING. LOVE. ZOMBIES.)

Um, thank you, sweetheart, for your, um...poignant representation of our mutual inability to speak the English language! Obama's--say it with me now!--INAUGURATION did not actually include the Spider-Man reference, I am a loser with confusing diction. This was earlier, although I can't remember exactly when. I just woke up one morning to the CNN fangirls pundits pissing themselves over Obama geeking out. (Wow, The News TM has really been a winner lately, hasn't it? :D)

HOWEVER, I hereby demand that all inaugural speeches contain at least one superhero reference from now until eternity. COME ON HOW EPIC WOULD IT BE IF OBAMA WERE ACTUALLY, LIKE, THE GREEN LANTERN IN DISGUISE?

~~AND I SHED MY LIGHT OVER DARK EVIL
FOR THE DARK THINGS CANNOT STAND THE LIGHT
~~~THE LIGHT OF THE GREEN LANTERN!

Which is, huh, come to think of it, PRETTY FUCKIN' CLOSE to Obama's actual manifesto. COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT! (my irrepressible inner nerd, LET ME SHOW IT TO YOU D:)
Edited Date: 2009-01-23 02:54 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-23 10:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rain-explodes.livejournal.com
Well, as there is no brain-seeking (actually, there probably is; but not what I had in mind) I will not pay. Plus, I'd like to see if first hand, which would cost..

(BROKEN LINK IS BROKEN.)

I KNEW IT!!! I knew I'd seen those glowing green eyes--not to be confused with Danny Phantom--somewhere before!! DAMN YOU, OBAMAAAAA~~~~~!!!!

... omg, sparkles

Date: 2009-01-24 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com
Wait, you'd like to see the benign and bizarrely benevolent brain-seeking, or the bloodlusty brand? I AM BEFUDDLED.

Okay, okay, you are just going to sit there, DRINKING IN MY ALLITERATION LIKE A FINE WINE. DRINK DEEP AND SLOW. ...ARE YOU BESOTTED (zing!) YET?

AH! THE LINK WORKS FOR ME! Since your computer is faily, you will have to settle for my scintillating description: it is a plain black t-shirt with a white medical cross, bearing the helpful instruction "DURING A ZOMBIE ATTACK, PLEASE FOLLOW ME." Because I'm just badass enough to be the zombie apocalypse's Messiah. Also, A Softer World is fabulous, but I think I mentioned that already.

DO NOT TRUST OBAMA HUSSEIN, HE IS A BAD SOCIALIST COMRADE!!! WHO IS BAD. AND SOCIALIST. AND HAS SUPERPOWERS. WHICH HE WILL ALIGN WITH THE FORCES OF EVIL.

(Seriously, though, IT NEVER STOPS BEING AMUSING THAT HE IS. SUCH. A. GEEK. Look, kids! Not EVERYONE who pores over comic books and newspapers when non-losers are getting dates continues to pore over comic books and newspapers for all time! SOME OF THEM GROW UP AND BECOME ~SUPERHEROES~ :D)

♥♥SPARKLES! My brother saw my LITERALLY SCINTILLATING HAR comment and asked me what I was doing on myspace, trufax. ;___;
Edited Date: 2009-01-24 02:25 am (UTC)

Profile

two_grey_rooms: (Default)
two_grey_rooms

June 2012

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920 212223
24252627282930

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 4th, 2025 04:05 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios