don't look so shocked, don't judge so harsh. you don't know you are only spying.

[two_grey_rooms]

someday in the not-too-distant future i will make some sort of substantive contribution to this hurr livejournal. today is not that day. in the meantime, you can:

Comment on this entry, and:

❶ I'll respond by asking you five questions to satisfy my curiosity.
❷ Update your journal with the answers to your questions.
❸ Include this explanation and offer to ask other people questions.

cascades, who is an utter nutball, gave me these questions:

1. REMEMBER BLUE-SKIDOO FROM BLUE'S CLUES? when blue could transport into pictures and books? well, if you could blue-skidoo into any book, which would you choose?
NO, ACTUALLY, I DON'T, BUT I'LL FORGIVE YOU YOUR TRESPASSES AND ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION. and it's a very good question at that, i have to say. lovely variation on the usual "with which character would you most like to chill?" deal. aaaand my aaaanswer iiis...tales from outer suburbia, by shaun tan. yes, it is a picture book; it's essentially magical realism for kids. and shit-wow, i wish that description could do it justice. magical realism restores a sense of wonder, so i feel odd applying it to a children's book, because when you're a kid, magic is commonplace anyway. archy_the_roach introduced me to this book a couple of months ago, well past my childhood, and still it moved me on a very visceral level; it curled its way deep underneath my skin, successfully hijacking the place i reserve for favorite songs and uncomfortably revealing dreams.

the following tangent doesn't answer this question, but as this is my livejournal, i shall abuse my memes however i see fit. the book that most successfully translated the world i inhabit into a tangible place is palimpsest, by catherynne m. valente. it feels like my own headspace reflected back to me, in all its ugliness and desperation and incandescence. palimpsest is a part of me, located somewhere just beyond tales from outer suburbia, somewhere within my ribcage, possibly.

i also really pathetically wish i could beam myself into shoebox_project, although that's not a book at all. it feels like home to me, in only the way your very favorite stories do. yes, i know it is a fucking fan fiction, and i lose all lit cred for admitting this. i am okay with that!

2. if you could choose to live in a different century, would you? or would you rather stay in the 21st?
fuck, no. i'm not big on romanticizing the past. humans do a pretty good job of fucking up the planet, but i remain (perhaps stupidly) a firm believer in progress. i want to continue to live just where i am and do whatever i can to bring the world a little closer to the place i believe it can be. we owe the past a lot: everything we have now, in fact. it'd be an insult to want to shave off a few decades. reminds me of holden caulfield on his merry-go-round, caught in a loop and still looking perpetually backwards. to that image, i say: no, thank you. i want to go forward. because do you know what we have now? MOTHERFUCKING JETPACKS. suck on that.

3. have you ever wanted to have any kind of exotic pet? (i always wanted a wolf when i was little.)
i want a tarantula! no, seriously. i do believe that counts as exotic. and i'll be boring and confess that when i was little, i totally wanted a dragon. still do, because i am the muggle incarnation of hagrid. although the former desire is a bit likelier to be fulfilled than the latter.

4. when you retire as an old wrinkly lady, what do you want to do with your free time?
accumulate wrinkles. play bingo; use the panoply of medications i'll undoubtedly be on as markers. laugh at my hideously disfigured tattoos. have many spiders as pets. run amok. naked, preferably. be the nut in the neighborhood all the little kids are terrified of.

5. do you have any sort of ~security blanket~ that you keep around from when you were little? mine is a stuffed animal, a goat named djali. FROM THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, REMEMBER? esmeralda's pet goat. he has an earring! he's pretty bamf.
ONCE AGAIN, NO I DO NOT REMEMBER, BUT THANKS FOR TRYING. security blanket? you mean like a straitjacket? some of my friends would argue that i need one of those these days. i, um. don't have an actual remnant from childhood on hand? because i have no soul. well, okay, i did have this purple stuffed dog (creatively named "peace") that i used as a sort of talisman. i've yet to hand her over to the EVILS OF SUNNYSIDE throw or give her away, so that may say something about the state of my immortal soul (mostly that it's comprised of 100% pure unadulterated LAZINESS).

speaking of the sorry state of my soul, the latest regina spektor song manages to make me weep every. damn. time. and i've listened to it like twenty times at this point. it's slowly becoming tiresome. you should download it and join me in my blubbering! (and i do recognize the irony in my inadvertently prefacing this paean to childhood with an anti-holden caulfield rant. do i have my holden moments? yup. do i want to be holden caulfield? hell, no, bitches.)

the piano is not firewood yet
they try to remember, but still
they forget that the heart
beats in threes, just like a waltz
and nothing can stop you from dancing

rise from your cold hospital bed
you're not dying
everyone knows that you're going to live
so you might as well start trying

the piano is not firewood yet
but the cold does get cold
so it soon might be that
i'll take it apart, call up
my friends, and we'll warm up
our hands by the fire

don't look so shocked
don't judge so harsh
you don't know you are
only spying
everyone knows
it's going to hurt, but at least
you'll get hurt trying

the piano is not firewood yet
but a heart can't be helped
and it gathers regret
someday you'll wake up and feel
a great pain, and you'll miss
every toy you ever owned

you'll want to go back
you'll wish you were small
nothing could solve the crying
you'll take the clock off
of your wall, and you'll wish
that it was lying

love what you have
and you'll have more love
you're not dying
everyone knows
you're going to love
but there's still no cure
for crying

Comments

[ithilien22.livejournal.com]

i also really pathetically wish i could beam myself into shoebox_project, although that's not a book at all. it feels like home to me, in only the way your very favorite story does. yes, i know it is a fucking fan fiction, and i lose all lit cred for admitting this. i am okay with that!

This is why we are friends.

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

if you can call us that, at this point. i do believe friends are supposed to interact sometimes? read that somewhere or something.

dkfbhsdkjfb LAURA. HI. HALLO. HAI GURL HAAAAAI. it's been too fucking long. how the hell are ya?

[quadruplify.livejournal.com]

COMMENT!! :D

And, uh.....you have tattoos?

BTW, that Regina Spektor song is amazing. I did tell you I saw her in concert once, right?

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

hah, sorry to disillusion you, but i have no tattoos (YET). i am certain i will eventually be covered in ink, so you can expect many ebullient updates on the matter in future.

REGINA <3. i'm not sure if you did, but my memory likes to torture me with its chronic unreliability, so it's possible i forgot? when did you see her? if you caught the far tour, i may have to slap you out of jealousy. although i did catch the tail end of her begin to hope tour about two years ago, and she was AMAZING.

PREGUNTAS:

1. do you have a favorite poet? who are they, do you remember the first poem you read by them, what is your favorite poem, etc. basically i'm commanding you to ramble ad nauseam about poetry. I LIKE POETRY. if this question is Irrelevant To Your Interests, what's your favorite youtube video? :D?

2. if you had the national held captive in your basement for a day, what would you do with them?

3. what would you do to best prepare yourself for a zombie apocalypse? "cower in mortal fear" is not an option, i said PREPARE, dammit.

4. *shamelessly steals the premise of cascades's question* if you could live inside a web comic of your choice, which would you choose?

5. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON YAOI what is the internet's most annoying meme?

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS WOT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS MEME: have you read white like me and/or oryx and crake yet?

[isthisrespekt.livejournal.com]

I know Holden Caulfield. A hipster, naturally.

You're now my official aging role model. That shit is REAL.

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

i bet he smells like patchouli.

FUCK YEAH I AM. i'll let you know how i'm doing with those Life Goals if i ever make it to a ripe old age.

aaaaand did you want questions? i am a dunderhead and cannot tell whether you were commenting with a rather narcissistic ulterior motive, or for purely altruistic purposes.

[imortlnoctrn.livejournal.com]

*comment*

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

O HAI THAR

1. YOU HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING TIME MACHINE AND A THIRST FOR VENGEANCE. WHO DO YOU CHALLENGE TO A DUEL?
2. sandwiches are awesome! i am eating one right now! i am not feeling particularly creative! do you have a favorite sandwich or dining establishment where you procure aforementioned culinary delicacies?
3. what is the worst feeling (or unholy amalgamation of Bad Feelings) you have ever experienced? I ASK PLEASANT QUESTIONS <3.
4. if you could live inside the mind of any person for any period of time, who would you choose?
5. what's your favorite book?

[usakeh.livejournal.com]

I love Regina Spektor.

I'll do the questions thing, if you've some to ask me; I just won't post it in my journal. I'll keep them as a comment. Is that okay?

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

it is a world-renowned fact that regina spektor is Beautiful And Amazing. did you know she recently played for the obamas? seems like yesterday she was recording in someone's basement in the bronx, omg :').

and yeah, that's fine. GO ON. BREAK THE MEME'S HOLY LAWS, YOU UNREPENTANT RAPSCALLION.

1. on that note, did you commit any Grandiose Acts of Rebellion as a teenager? how about any Negligible Acts of Rebellion?
2. what is/are your favorite word(s) in any language?
3. do you think any piece(s) of writing (novel, essay, poem, livejournal comment, whatever) has/have had an incontrovertible influence on your life or way of thinking? TALK ABOUT IT/THEM HURR.
4. if you could live anywhere in the world (or BEYOND IT), where would you choose? (this is a cleverly disguised way of asking whether you like living in westchester.)
5. how did you choose your livejournal user name?

[cool-rain-kiss.livejournal.com]

You are tangential. Also hot.


NOW ASK ME QUESTIONS, CRETIN.

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

i find the two often go together.

1. what is/are your least favorite thing(s) about living in the ancient and most noble house of poplarville?
2. what is/are your very favorite and most epic memories from your own life? i'm talkin' about the kinda shit you want playing in a slide-slow in your mind in the hours before your death.
3. do you have any idea how mfing awesome you are? you may be as glib as you like about this question. or you can be earnest. TAKE IT HOWEVER YOU WILL.
4. what do you think is beautiful? your answer may encompass memories, photographs, poetry, people, none of the above, all of the above, etc.
5. if you could ask one question to one person that you don't think you'll ever get the chance to, what would it be and to whom would it be addressed?

[zombiedisco101.livejournal.com]

- "You're now my official aging role model" - isthisrespekt - 3 comments up

- DANCING ZOMBIE: Man, girl, the pubie-essence (pubescence) hairiness gr[a]ys quick as field mice in an empty lunch pail, don't it?
- AGING ROLE MODEL GR[A]Y GOOSE, PLEASE: Go crazy naked word dance, somewhere else, please. (aside) Why does no one like my meme?

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

*crazy naked word dances*

[x-----starlight.livejournal.com]

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT BLUE-SKIDOO? I'M DISOWNING YOU IF YOU DON'T AT LEAST KNOW THE MAIL SONG.

i want questions btw bb. that's my actual legit reason for commenting, i just thought it would be cheap to not mention anything from your answers.

[mandaffodil]

HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT BLUE-SKIDOO? I'M DISOWNING YOU IF YOU DON'T AT LEAST KNOW THE MAIL SONG.

DITTO. blue's clues was my childhood. ;_________;

SIT DOWN IN MY THINKING CHAIR AND THINK
THINK
THINK
'CAUSE WHEN WE USE OUR MINDS
TAKE A STEP AT A TIME
WE CAN DO ANYTHING
THAT WE WANNA DO

/is not ashamed

i'll leave you a decent comment later ellie, i'm too busy being OUTRAGED right now.

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

ACTUALLY, i totally remembered blue beaming herself into books the second after i posted, but i didn't think it was pertinent enough to go back and edit. apparently i was wrong. i am sorry i have Deeply Offended you.

AND I DO REMEMBER THE EXISTENCE OF A MAIL SONG, BUT I DON'T KNOW IT ANYMORE. because i am not mrs. havisham. please note my strong implication that you are, in fact, mrs. havisham.

1. which is the fictional character (in any media--book, tv, movie, etc.) to whom you most relate? which is the fictional character to whom you WISH you could relate? (yes, it's a twoferone. this is because you are Special and i love you.)
2. is there anything about yourself you desperately wish you could change?
3. what is the coolest mythical creature ever, in your humble opinion?
4. what is the best and worst book you have ever read?
5. ARE YOU, IN FACT, MRS. HAVISHAM?

[archy-the-roach.livejournal.com]

MWAHAHA YES I have successfully corrupted you. "Tales From Outer Suburia" is a wunnerful answer.
And if I were to also beam myself into "The Shoebox Project"... hmm.

(and OMG ask me questions!)

[archy-the-roach.livejournal.com]

Oh. I just noticed your tags for this post, by the way, and I am highly and deeply offended.

edited to use SBP icon

[mcollinknight.livejournal.com]

i also really pathetically wish i could beam myself into [info]shoebox_project, although that's not a book at all. it feels like home to me, in only the way your very favorite story does. yes, i know it is a fucking fan fiction, and i lose all lit cred for admitting this. i am okay with that!

this is also why *we* are friends <3

also I enjoy your old-lady habits, esp the running-around nekkid.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID NOT KNOW about that regina song... so beautiful, this is why she's my fav. TY TY FOR THAT.

JE VEUX TES QUESTIONS.

Re: edited to use SBP icon

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

SHOOOOOOOOEBOX <3. i shamelessly stole that icon from you, jsyk.

this is also why *we* are friends <3

THIS STATEMENT IS INACCURATE. we are friends because quadruplify told me i should add you, and HIS WILL IS MY COMMAND. apparently.

i am going to be the greatest old fart on the BLOCK. except for regina spektor. she is going to be a ridonkulous madwoman in the attic when she gets old, i imagine. that song, ungh ;____<3

1. now that you got me started on shoebox, why do you love it so and what is your very favorite chapter and/or shoebox moment?
2. CORNY GIRLIE MAG QUESTION TIME! what song(s) do you feel encapsulate(s) YOUR SOOOOOUL?
3. what are the thing(s) you have accomplished in your life so far of which you are most proud, be they grand or small?
4. what is a book you read and promptly wanted to incinerate, and why?
5. what traits in people or things in the world do you find unconventionally beautiful?

(ahahha oh god so many typos ;___;)

[rain-explodes.livejournal.com]

SHOEBOX! There's every chance in hell I'm going back to reread everything about that. I love it so much :')

QUESTIONS. Also, good luck trying to think up so many questions for everyone - lol

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

I CANNOT COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE READ THAT BEAUTIFUL STORY, TRUFAX. although my usual method is to flip through random chapters; i haven't sat down and read the whole thing, cover to proverbial cover, in a long long time. maybe i should do that again.

fndsfkjnfk ikr? NO MORE QUESTIONS SIR. BRAIN IS TIIIIRED.

1. in what ways do you wish your life was different? what things are you exceptionally glad to have in your life?
2. what are some of your favorite song lyrics?
3. do you wish pluto were still a planet?
4. do you have a favorite photograph(er)?
5. what are some of your favorite figures of speech?

HERE'S YOUR DECENT COMMENT.

[mandaffodil]

YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU NOT KNOWING YOUR BLUE'S CLUES. damn, girl.

alfjsd, i haven't read shoebox_project yet. I KNOW, I KNOW. i should be stoned. i've known about it for years, i've just... never read it.

I AGREE ABOUT THE 21ST CENTURY. i like living here. i'd rather go to the future than the past, but how knows what kind of future it might be? ALIENS MIGHT HAVE TAKEN OVER.

i've always wanted a dragon. well, first i wanted a wolf. then i moved on to dragons. BECAUSE DRAGONS CAN FLY.

so you'll the crazy spider lady instead of the crazy cat lady? interesting.

DON'T EVER THROW PURPLE STUFFED DOG AWAY, SHE LOVES YOU. ;_______;

this comment wasn't actually decent. oh well.

Re: HERE'S YOUR DECENT COMMENT.

[two-grey-rooms.livejournal.com]

NAW, GURL, SHOEBOX IS SO FUCKING AMAZING YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE STONED TO ENJOY IT!

according to stephen colbert, we're gonna have WEREWOLVES IN CONGRESS. WHAT SORT OF WORLD IS THAT, I IMPLORE YOU. (i'll tell you what sort of world that is, and that's a mfing AWESOME one.)

HOW ABOUT A WOLF-DRAGON? that would be amazing.

YES. CRAZY SPIDER PERSON. EXACTLY. i really do love spiders. it's a problem.

I THINK THE PURPLE STUFFED DOG, BEING A NON-SENTIENT BEING, IS RATHER INDIFFERENT TO MY EXISTENCE, TBQH.